The first thing that came to my mind when I stepped on Binondo? Reflection. Yes you read that right. I’m the city rat that reflected on the streets of Binondo.
January 17, 2018 was a gloomy day in the city of Manila and with that, I found it perfect for the mood of the shoot (IG GOALZ LEVEL). It also made me think a lot. The noise, the hustle and bustle of the people and the busy streets of Binondo that reminded me that it was home. It won’t be long till everything dies down and I will probably be back after a long time. I’m about to leave the country you see and I didn’t think it would be that hard. Boy was I wrong.
I’m about to take a program in Canada for my career. I’m really excited and I’ve been dreaming of making it abroad for quite sometime now. After I got my acceptance letter from the College there, a lot of unsettling thoughts came with it. What would I do without the people I’ve come to know? Where will comfort be when I know that I have to cross seas to find warmth again? What will happen to me in this new land? I’m drowning. Drowning in the busy streets, drowning in the streets, missing every single moment when this scenery used to be the view I wished I left. But now that the chance has come, why am I craving for more of it?
Thinking that in a few months, I’d be away from this place. I know I’ve complained about how everything sucked here but it’s still home. People tell me home is where your heart is and no matter where I go, I know that my heart will stay here in Manila... in the Philippines. I found every walk in this place very melancholic and eerie. Breathing in the smog felt like an eternity but I wasn’t bothered. It smelled like the worst place on earth but that didn’t stop me from feeling so much. I can’t help but feel bitter sweet feelings. I know it’s for my future and for a brighter cause but does it have to be a thousand miles away? I will definitely miss the sun, the warmth, my friends and most of all my family.
I can’t tell you how much tears roll down every time I think that time was moving by so fast. Every day seemed like a second and I had no way of stopping it. It slips every time I finally think that I have it under control. I’m losing this battle of control. The cards I thought would stay with me forever all starts to fly off in every direction and the only thing I can do is stand on the same ground and say good bye.
Until the day of my departure comes, I must stay strong. I’ll just enjoy it with all of you who have supported me through thick and thin. This won’t be the end. I’ll still be here, only in another land.
These were the thoughts that haunted me as I walked the streets of Manila. This was my Binondo story and this was a story that would keep replaying until the day I returned.